Soften

Softening into December. Easing the edges of expectation

December arrives wrapped in tinsel and twinkling lights, and with it comes a quiet, or sometimes not so quiet pressure. This time of year is painted as magical, full of family gatherings, gifts and togetherness. Shop windows glitter with imagery of joy we are bombarded with adverts on social media. Everywhere we turn we are encouraged to do, buy, organise, attend, and show up with festive cheer.

And while there is beauty in all of that, there can also be a weight. A demand. A sense that we should be doing more. Consuming more. Socialising more. Feeling more joy than we perhaps do. We can find ourselves striving to meet expectations that we never consciously agreed to. Expectations set by culture, our traditions, or simply the comparison to what we believe everyone else is experiencing.

So amongst the buzz of this time of year, it is worth pausing to ask, ‘whose expectations am I trying to meet’? And ‘do they truly belong to me’?

We do not need to pretend December is calm, because it is not! There are meals to plan, presents to wrap, events to navigate, people to see, emotions to hold, and sometimes grief, loneliness or fatigue woven through the festive sparkle. We may not want to change any of it, and perhaps when we consider that, we realise that we can’t. 

So instead of trying to overhaul the season or shrink away from it, what if we simply softened our approach to it? What if we offered ourselves just enough space. A breath. A moment to loosen the grip of perfection and obligation.

Softening doesn’t mean doing less, it is a quality we can bring to what we do. Softening is gentle. It is subtle. A shift rather than a force.

It might look like:

• Loosening the need to get everything just right

• Allowing yourself to say no, or to leave early

• Finding a slow, deep breath before saying yes from habit

• Bringing tenderness to the part of you that feels pressure

  
  

In doing so, we soften the edges of expectation. We can soften the striving.  We can soften around the places that feel tight and take a moment when we feel overwhelmed.  

Our yoga practice is a pathway to softening. The body is often where tension lives first. The shoulders creep upward, the jaw tightens and our breath responds to this by becoming shallow. Through gentle movement and breathwork, we can find a place to practice softening physically, so we may soften mentally and emotionally too.

Each exhale becomes an invitation: ‘Can I release a little here’? ‘Can I soften, even by 5%?’

And with that gentleness we create space to treat ourselves with loving kindness. This is a practice that reminds us of the flows of compassion and that we are deserving of the same compassion we offer to others so freely. 

This month, may our practice be an anchor. Not to escape this busy season, but to move through it with more softness, presence and care.